When it comes to relationships, it can sometimes be quite a challenge being a man. The preconception (and often expectation) is that the man should be the one to take the lead and initiate first contact. For some, learning the delicate art of how to attract women can be hard enough, but there’s an even more pressing issue to overcome before that: where do you go to meet all those single women?
While the first place that might come to mind is a bar, one of these can be a real lottery if you’re looking for something a little more meaningful than a hook up. Let’s face it, how are you going to find out if you have anything in common if you can’t even manage a conversation over the crowd?
One element in learning how to attract women should not be overlooked: identifying the right environment for you. If you want to give yourself a far better chance to find the right person, try these four alternatives.
The Gym: The gym is an excellent place to meet women, although you’ll have to learn how to both read your audience and pick your moment. Don’t interrupt her as she’s at the peak of a sweaty workout, because nobody (let alone a single-and-looking-woman) wants to be caught mid-beetroot-gym-face as they’re trying to hit their stride on the Stairmaster. And don’t get caught leering as she’s bending over to do her stretches, because there’s a big difference between appreciating a well-toned body and being inappropriate. Those caveats aside, the endorphin-fuelled environment of the gym is the perfect place to strike up a conversation over the free weights – and if you’ve got some lightly sweat-sheened abs to sweeten the deal, go crazy.
The bookshop: Checking out what someone’s picked up from the book shelf is the easiest way to start a dialogue you’ll ever find. “Oh, are you interested in crafts/foreign languages/health foods? I’ve just this week finished découpaging my sock drawer/writing my memoirs in French/activating some almonds. The corners/verbs/extractions were murder!†If you can find a bookstore with a coffee shop you’ve hit pay dirt. “Wow, I’ve never met anyone that loves (insert subject here based on what she’s picked up) as much as me! Can I buy you a coffee so we can talk more?†The options are endless; you get the picture.
The launderette: Whether you have to visit the launderette in your own apartment building or one on the high street, never be fooled into thinking not having a washing machine at home is a disadvantage. Doing the laundry is a tailor-made opportunity for making conversation with the opposite sex. With a wash and dry taking up to an hour and a half there’s plenty of time to get to know one another – and that’s just for one load. Imagine the possibilities on sheets and duvet day…
The meditation studio: For men who are serious about cultivating deeper, more intimate relationships, it’s not just about how to attract women, it’s about how to keep them. And, yes, you’re reading correctly: we’re suggesting a meditation studio as a place to meet women. While you might think that meditation is by its nature a solitary and silent practice, the type known as OM – described as “the practice for human connection†– actually requires a partner. Some therapists have said that OM should be required education for all men, and entering into your vulnerability in order to help a woman reach her most enlightened and pleasurable state makes a man very, very attractive indeed. Check out OM and be pleasantly surprised.
These four places are just a few examples of alternatives to the bar scene. There are gorgeous single women of all ages everywhere – you just need to broaden your horizons just a little to encounter them. And guess what? They’re all looking for love too…
Juliette Karaman-van Schaardenburg is a director at TurnOn Britain and a qualified OneTaste coach and Orgasmic Meditation trainer. As well as working with couples, she works with men to teach them how to attract women and make sex better by tuning into their body and intuition.
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