Many women spend so much of their lives trying to smash their way through the glass ceiling that there’s precious little time for self-nurturing – and that includes sex. But keeping the work/life balance is vital to the preservation of your mental, physical and relationship health, so you really can’t afford to let your brilliant career cost your fabulous sex life.
If you feel like you need to learn how to change your life to make sex a priority, a simple change of focus can often help.
You’re On Fire in the Office But Not in the Bedroom
The better your career is going, the more work you have to put in. Fact. With advancement comes increased responsibility, more face-to-face hours with clients or colleagues and, naturally, less time at home. When you do get home you’re dog-tired and fall into bed in your pussy-bow and pin stripes, oblivious to anything but the need for sleep. Sound familiar?
It’s hard to know how to change your life so you can effectively juggle everything, but when sex falls off the radar it can quickly lead to distance within the relationship, so it’s important to make time for your partner. How? First, make time for yourself. Make a date with yourself at least once a week when you come home and, instead of collapsing into bed, run a bath and take time to relax and wind down. It’s incredible what some bubbles, scented candles and a glass of wine will do for your libido. Just make sure your partner’s in on the plans so he’s waiting in the bedroom ready to go when you emerge!
The Gentle Art of Arousal
While most men are, of course, supportive of their partner’s career, it can sometimes cause an ego problem if it surpasses their own professional success. So much of the male identity is tied up with their self-esteem that if it takes a bit of a battering it can cause issues with their performance in bed. If your stellar career means sex is off the menu due to your partner’s lack of arousal, you need to get things back on track.
The very basis of sexual arousal lies in the release of tension – aka relaxation. So it’s important to make your partner feel valued, loved and relaxed, without the pressure to perform sexually. Knowing how to change your life to make way for quality time with your lover is the key to maintaining intimacy within your relationship. With a hectic work schedule, yes, it’s hard, but if you can find 15 minutes, you can discover one of the most enriching experiences of your life through the practice of orgasmic meditation.
Orgasmic meditation offers a way to gain or regain intimacy by harnessing our most powerful human impulse to achieve a state of ultimate connection and mindfulness. During a session, the partner strokes the woman’s clitoris for 15 minutes for the sole purpose of being utterly present in the experience. The practice has the ability to bring both partners to optimal consciousness, which can manifest in every aspect of your life. Surely that’s worth 15 minutes away from your career? And another 15 minutes, and another, and another…
Whether it’s through orgasmic meditation, self-nurturing or simply scheduling in date nights with your partner, you really can’t afford not to invest in your sex life. When your career is over and the accolades have faded into obscurity, if you haven’t taken the time to nurture intimacy, you might just look over to the other side of the bed and see a stranger. Or worse still, an empty space.
Juliette Karaman-van Schaardenburg is a director at TurnOn Britain and a qualified OneTaste coach and Orgasmic Meditation trainer. She works with both couples and singles and can teach you how to change your life to achieve intimacy with your partner or aid recovery from trauma by tuning into your body and intuition.
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