For men who to want to learn how to attract women, understanding that feminine sexual desire and experience is mainly generated in the mind is probably the most valuable lesson you’ll ever learn.
Researchers have long known that women and men (generally) have very different motives when it comes to sex. While for men the sexual act can quite easily be purely physical, for women, it’s all about closeness, intimacy and the ultimate desire to attract love. And if you know that, you know plenty.
It’s All About the Mood
While you might not care about lights on, lights off, or how your wobbly bits look in the harsh glare of reality, women do. Even the most body confident lady appreciates some romantic mood lighting, and it can change the whole dynamic of an encounter. Candles, low lights, an open fire crackling in the background – all these add up to creating an intimate ambience where a woman can release her inhibitions without worrying about her insecurities.
Slowly Slowly
Generally speaking, a woman doesn’t want to feel like she’s the object of a sexual predator on a mission to carve out another notch in his bedpost as quickly as possible. Once you’ve identified a mutual attraction, don’t go in so hard and fast that it scares her off. What you might think is attention – hard stares and intense physical overtures – can very easily come across as creepy. Women need to feel safe to be comfortable enough to take things to the next level. Back off and read your audience.
Conscious Coupling
It’s important for a woman to feel a connection before committing to sex, so if you can establish some “common ground” before trying to start sexual overtures you will build on her trust. If you’re serious about learning tips on how to attract women, don’t launch into the “your place or mine” routine too early in the piece or you could scare her off. Instead, talk about shared experiences (even if they only extend back a couple of hours!) to reassure her you’re paying attention to her, not just the possibility of getting laid. Even if it’s clear to both of you that it’s going to end that way, for women, it’s all about the game to get between the sheets. Play it.
Confidence not Cockiness
If you’re not clear about the difference between the two it might be time to go back to basics in “How to Attract Women” 101. Confidence is all about being comfortable in your own skin, whereas cockiness (aka egotistical behaviour) most often comes from a place of deep-seated insecurity. And don’t think women can’t tell the difference. Don’t big note your possessions, achievements or social connections; let your humility and personality speak for themselves. By the way, confidence has nothing to do with your exterior appearance and everything to do with what’s going on inside.
Broaden your Mind, Open your Heart
The partnered practice of Orgasmic Meditation (OM) can be hugely enlightening for men in terms of learning how to place quality attention on a woman without being in the experience to consume. This conscious practice involves one partner stroking the woman’s clitoris for a 15-minute session, with no goal other than to be “in the moment” and fully cognisant of every aspect of the experience. A man who’s willing to push himself, even to the point of discomfort, to create intimacy will always score well with women and invariably benefit from the experience himself.
What all these tips come down to is one simple thing: if you want to know how to attract women and connect on a deeper, more meaningful level, pay attention to her most important sexual organ – her brain.
Juliette Karaman-van Schaardenburg is a director at TurnOn Britain and a qualified OneTaste coach and Orgasmic Meditation trainer. As well as working with couples, she works with men to teach them how to attract women and make sex better by tuning into their body and intuition
This article is copyright free.