Gaining a truly meaningful connection through sex is not something that just “happens”. If it did, the planet would be awash with happy, enlightened, sentient and sexually fulfilled beings instead of the reality of a western world of stressed-out, disconnected disdescriptions with barely enough time to share a peck on the cheek with their significant other, let alone a deep, connected sexual experience.
Of course that’s not to say achieving that kind of meaningful connection is not possible. In fact, it’s entirely possible, completely desirable and is actually a lot easier than you might think. The only prerequisite is learning how to clear your mind of all the extraneous flotsam and jetsam of your life and how to focus on what’s really important. You.
Using Meditation Techniques
Using meditation techniques to quiet the “monkey mind” is nothing new, but neither is the idea of a connection between sexual experience and meditation. Techniques such as Orgasmic Meditation (OM), a partnered consciousness practice, can help you explore and rationalise the benefits of the meditative experience to your sense of arousal and sexual fulfilment, and nurture a greater capacity to achieve those deeper human connections we desire. Unlike other practices that require solitude and silence, OM is able to cultivate and nurture these most intimate connections in regular 15-minute partnered sessions, by harnessing the power of the most deeply felt human experience of orgasm.
Zoning Out and Tuning In
In conjunction with engaging in a mindful practice such as OM, you can work towards great connected sex by facilitating the space to focus on really feeling every part of the emotion and physicality of the act. But in order to be fully present in the experience, you need to clear your mind of the noise and distractions of day-to-day life so you’re able to reignite your ability to recognise and experience sexual arousal.
There are three key points to using meditation techniques to reconnect with your genitals: get comfortable, slow down, and focus on your breath. Sound familiar? Probably because they’re the same key points used in meditation for relaxation and physical health. A busy, distracted mind is not conducive to sexual arousal, so using these methods to quieten the mind and reconnect with your intimate body parts can be highly effective. In fact, many people report that by tuning in to their own body in such an intimate way, they connect with a depth of feeling they’ve not previously ever experienced.
Enlightenment is Bliss
Research has shown that meditating and having sex activate opposite sides of the brain, but both afford the ability to quieten the constant “chatter” in our head, therefore enabling us to reach a state of higher consciousness. If you can approach sex with the same “slow down, get comfortable and focus on the breath” practice, it’s eminently possible to gain the ability to focus on bodily sensations like arousal and reach a deeply erotic (and enlightened) state.
Juliette Karaman-van Schaardenburg is a director at TurnOn Britain and a qualified OneTaste coach and Orgasmic Meditation trainer. She works with both couples and singles, teaching them meditation techniques that help them tune into their body and intuition.
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